Viral Socialite

Following growing concerns about Facebook’s lack of care towards privacy of their users, a few thousand people started a movement known as “quit facebook day”. They hoped that a few million people would set aside one day to not use facebook at all, as a kind of protest against the company.

But well under 2% of the USA population participated in the event. In fact, in a recent survey conducted, only 11% of people had actually heard of quit facebook day. Of those, only 22% had actually planned to take part in it.

These results confirm something we had already suspected: that facebook is simply too large to fail and people are already way too dependent on it.

BEIJING — The Chinese government announced today that it would disband its extensive domestic spying program that gathers personal information on its citizens and would instead use Facebook.

According to the head of the domestic spying operation, China decided to scrap its elaborate array of spy satellites, eavesdropping devices and closed-circuit surveillance cameras after recognizing that Facebook put them all to shame. “At the end of the day, we were not getting as much intimate personal data as Facebook does,” he said. “So as of today, every man, woman and child in China is officially our ‘friend.’”

The Chinese version of Facebook, launched next week, will feature addictive online games reminiscent of the American version, such as Collective Farmville.

Elsewhere, a new study shows that the link between cell phones and cancer is unclear, but the link between cell phones and morons remains strong.